Like Real People Do

Good Morning, Loves:

There's something stirring up within me, something I can't quite put my finger on. But I know that whatever this is, it's possibly the truest thing that's ever happened. It feels like new. It feels like I'm finishing up the last few words of one giant chapter of my life - the one that encompasses the first 20-something years where I go around searching for something that I've had all along.

I spent an entire year growing by my 2016 resolution, which was to be intentional with myself and with others. I didn't know it then, but the word intention within medicine means "the healing of a wound" which is exactly what this last year was for me. God, it was a brutal year, but it was also such a beautiful year filled with some of the deepest healing I've ever known. 

My intent for 2017 is to do life in full awareness, which is a definition of "knowing". It's to know that I have no fucking clue what life has in store for me. I have no idea what the next height will look like, or what the next break will feel like, but I know that neither are to be taken seriously. It's to know that everything really does happen for a reason and to remember that I don't need to know what that reason is - I just need to trust that it's right. It's to know that life is all about relationships and every single one of them will teach me something about myself, about life, and about love. It's to know that life only ever begins when we start showing up, and it doesn't matter if we show up messy, confused, uncomfortable, or insecure. We just need to show up. And it's to know that perfection has no place in my world because "the important thing in Life is not triumph, but the struggle; the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." 

Here's to knowing. Cheers to another beautiful year, 

A.