Kings and Queens

"Excuse me. Excuse me? What is your name." 

I had pulled over when I saw the Whole Foods sign so I could empty some trash from my back seat and grab some lunch.  With my arms full of old magazines and gum wrappers I said, "My name is Alexa."

"Oh, well Ms. Alexa, I'm trying to save up for a meal, do you have any - "  

I cut him off.  "Bummer. I don't have any cash on me. But let's go inside, I'll buy you something to eat." 

"Oh, nah that's alright. I don't know what's all in there." 

I laughed as I looked him in the eyes. "I'm pretty sure you're allowed inside, my man. Come in with me, I'll buy you lunch. What's your name?" 

"People call me Junior." 

I'd never talked to a homeless person before. Or asked them their name. Or bought them lunch. Or gave them money. Somewhere along the bottom row of the Philosophy section, I stopped acknowledging struggle. But this was different -there was no obligation in that moment. There was no moral right. In that moment, he and I were the same. We were both hungry, and one of us had money. The difference was that I had spent my day working for that money, and he had spent his day - 

I didn't know how he had spent his day. I didn't know if he had forgotten his wallet, or if he ever even had a wallet. I didn't know anything about this man, except for his name. 

"So, Junior - what are you in the mood for?" 

"This is a fancy food store, right?" 

"Mmhm." ..... I mean, yeah, Whole Foods does get pretty fancy with their prices.

"One time I had a salad that had a lot of fancy cheese on it. Sheep cheese, or somethin'. That stuff was good." He said that with the biggest smile on his face. "Something light for now, though. Something light." He grabbed a banana as we walked past the stand on the way to the lunch buffet. 

I was looking at the meal deals trying to figure out which two sides I would get with my meat portion when I saw Junior walk up with a small package in his hand. I figured in my indecisive nature, it would be better for the both of us to check out and for me to come back.

We got to the check-out stand and I see "Goat Cheese" pop up on the screen in front of me.

$5.61 well spent.

A Toast, To You and I

Seven days from today, the little town of Allenspark will be buzzing with excitement as the event we've been planning for over a year starts into motion. One of the guys will straighten Dylan's tie before he walks out the door, and I'll add extra bobby pins in my hair on my way out, just in case. 

But even more than that, we will walk towards each other as completely different people than who we were when he asked me to be his wife.

Planning our wedding completely changed our lives. We learned so much more about each other, our families, and our friends during this process than we evercould have known we would have. The stress was so unexpected in the ways we experienced it, and the details... there were so many details. And I'm so grateful for all of it because that's exactly what changed us. This year highlighted cracks in the foundations of our personal lives and our life together, and without that, our relationship may never have been as strong as it is in this very moment. 

Seven days from today, Dylan and I will celebrate the journey we've been on for the last five years, in a room filled with incredible amounts of love. We will toast to our vows and dance in honor of the years we have ahead of us. And when the night comes to an end and we find ourselves tangled up in bed sheets, my hope for us is that we never forget how happy we were in the days before we got married.

Because  baby, I am so happy with you.

We Bought a Home

More like we bought a condo, but this little 780 square foot beauty is definitely our home.

We have a yellow vinyl pattern for our kitchen floor, and flower tiles surrounding our wood burning fireplace - one that I'll use like a daily routine once fall rolls back around. Not to mention that our chandelier came straight out of the 1990's, and that mud room? Wallpaper. Everywhere. There's something about it, though. Something that makes it so lovely because of how quirky it all is. 

Of all the places that Dylan and I have lived together, apartment living has definitely been my favorite. Sure, there are plenty of downsides if you look hard enough, but there's a sense of permanency that comes with living in a small space that I never really felt in the houses we lived in. There was always the opportunity to buy more stuff to fill the empty rooms, or to switch rooms because we had a second living area, or a third bedroom or what have you. All in due time. There's been talk of little ones (mostly by my mom, but we're starting to join that conversation) after we get married and of course, we'll need to upsize. We knew that was in our near future when we chose to buy small. But for the time being, all we have to worry about is one bedroom and one bathroom and one living space. We're so very excited to decorate these white walls with the memories we've made so far. 

And so, that's how it goes. You meet someone, you fall in love, you buy a condo and you start painting walls.

For us, anyway. 



Copper Mountain, January 10th - January 11th. 

Life {n}: The existence of an individual human being. 

This is where I get to live my life... then add in the love of a handsome man and time spent with friends and I'm really not sure if it gets any better than this. 

an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Reposted and edited from September 2012:  

I used to stare at that giant outside of my window for hours. 

I'd climb to the top of my roof and strategically sit at the highest point, measuring how much taller the top of that tree was even though I was basically on the top of the world. And then I'd daydream about flying right off that roof; about making a fold up airplane to fit in my back pocket; about falling in love; about building tree houses; about changing the world. Those childhood dreams of mine fueled the world around me - they were everything to me. They were the life before me and the life I would grow into. I would fly one day. I would fall in love with the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. I would change the world. It would happen because I wanted it to happen. 

Then I'd find myself in the fort I had spent the morning building, hiding not-so-inconspicuously from the world around me, dreaming about the house I'd one day build. And then I'd probably put the kitchen here... windows here, here, and most definitely there... And soon after that I was bundled from head to toe, reading in a lopsided igloo in the backyard, intermittently pretending I was stranded and must. find. food. between the hot coco breaks.

I was a child looking to the future, pretending that I was in situations bigger than myself, then crawling into my warm bed for a sound night sleep because I really didn't have a care in the world. It was all just pretend... it was all eons into the future.

And now I find myself buying curtains for a house that's not yet mine, still planning out where I'd put the kitchen for the house I'll one day build. I find myself looking at the boy I used to dream about on top of that roof, now soon becoming his wife. I find myself lying awake at night thinking about how to turn the world upside down and skipping out on a good night sleep because it's not just pretend anymore - I mean really, I'm more than halfway to my ten year reunion by now.

But then I fall fast asleep because it's all still eons away; I'm just that much closer to it all.